Fun with Grindr

Aaannd...we’re back!

2010-03-15T14:26:00.002-04:00

After a month-long hiatus, Fun With Grindr is back! Sorry for the void of Grindr jollies, but sometimes life takes precedence (darn it!).

But we’re back and I have an iPhone so brimming with hot, droolworthy guys that I keep catching it masturbating in my pocket. (I was wondering where that unsightly moisture was seeping from...) So without further ado, today’s comeback posting is all hotness...

Beam me up

2010-03-15T14:24:00.000-04:00

Scott’s going to look funny when he stands up and has a bunch of funny indents on his back...

Not that I’ll be paying much attention to that part of his anatomy.

He be illin’

2010-03-15T14:23:00.000-04:00

Run, Dmc, run! I mean, he could walk this way, but it’s tricky. Because, y’know, it’s like that.

Watersports

2010-03-15T14:18:00.004-04:00

Interesting how those on Grindr who don’t seem to be looking for a hookup always put a really hot shirtless photo as their profile? It’s like going to an adult bookstore and saying you’re there to look for an Archie Comics Digest.

Easy 2-Step Instructions!

2010-03-15T14:17:00.000-04:00

I’d consider putting Tab A in Slot B a simple thing, wouldn’t you...?

Fuzzy was he?

2010-03-15T14:16:00.000-04:00

Anyone who’s been hanging around here long enough knows I love just a little bit of fur on a guy. So this is pure hotness for me.

Although that green wall is making my stomach remember that green beer that I had a year ago on St. Patrick’s Day. (groan...) I’ll definitely not overdo it this year.

Though I’d overdo M here with no problem.

Missing half-naked summers...

2010-02-12T11:02:00.001-05:00

Just a reminder of how much winter in the midwest sucks.

Hush. Don't say a word.

2010-02-12T11:00:00.002-05:00

Why's KJ on Grindr? Looks like he already found someone inflated and plastic and who won't object to having sex.

Low Gun

2010-02-12T10:57:00.002-05:00

He's just asking me to kick him in the crotch.

Sorry -- did I say 'kick'? I meant 'lick'...

Tilt

2010-02-12T10:55:00.001-05:00

Just a damn cute guy.

That's all.

Dismissed.

Ho White

2010-02-12T10:19:00.003-05:00

M: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, will I find an LTR on Grindr at all?

Mirror: M, M, before my glass, you may have to settle for just getting it up the ass...

My next boyfriend

2010-02-10T09:27:00.004-05:00

Anyone who's read this blog long enough knows that the gentleman in this Grindr profile is ~~rumored to be~~ the very hot and talented Chris Salvatore.

He just recorded a new single and you can access it via YouTube here: Broke Another Heart

His other stuff, including the amazing song It's You, is available on iTunes here: iTunes: Chris Salvatore

Chris Salvatore's Official Site

Enjoy!

James the Just...hot

2010-02-10T09:21:00.003-05:00

The name "James" means 'supplanter'.

I know what I'd like to su-plant into Jim...

Hypocrisy at its best

2010-02-10T09:17:00.002-05:00

[sent in by Craig. Check out his amazingly funny blog: Puntabulous]

Leading the worship

2010-02-08T18:20:00.001-05:00

If he runs, I'll run after him.

aka "Jordan"

2010-02-08T18:18:00.001-05:00

Hey, look! Michael Stipe's on Grindr!

Who knew?

The first rule of Fight Club

2010-02-08T17:28:00.002-05:00

Tyler looks like he could beat the shit out of anyone that dares attempt a chat.

Kinda makes me wanna attempt a chat.

Hair Bear

2010-02-08T17:23:00.002-05:00

Take K2's head, turn it upside down, put it back on, and it would still kinda look the same...

Pirates of the Bear-a-seein'

2010-02-06T11:06:00.003-05:00

Ahrr! What treasures thar be within ye ample chest...

Don't make Ken jealous

2010-02-06T11:03:00.003-05:00

An ex-Marine with a Barbie fetish?

Logan, run!

2010-02-06T10:55:00.002-05:00

This is just a kickass, cool photo.

And he's certainly honest: "This pic is old I looks a lot worse now"

Well, okay, he could use a bit of help in the grammar department, but as long as he keeps quiet and doesn't cut me, we'll be fine...

Victor's Secret

2010-02-06T10:49:00.002-05:00

I'm not sure what's worse -- boobs on a guy or boobs on Grindr.

And I'm thinkin' his profile name should be ROfunlift, due to his obvious need for additional support.

Hair Club

2010-02-06T10:46:00.000-05:00

http://www.bosley.com

Happy Happy Boy Boy

2010-02-05T17:26:00.002-05:00

Just some hot guys. And a boy. It's too creepy to speculate -- just concentrate on the two in the middle...

Though I doubt that kid's mom knows that his photo is being used on a gay hookup app...

Bring out the Pimp

2010-02-05T17:21:00.003-05:00

Wow. He's. Freakin. Adorable.

I'm disappointed that he's not a pimp, though. Unless Notta Pimp is his name, in which case, my disappointment would be misplaced...

Damn kids!

2010-02-05T17:17:00.003-05:00

Whoa, there, George. The young whippersnappers that you're watching walk on your lawn aren't worth the charges of homicide.

You just gotta trust me on that one.

And you seem just a tad higher-strung that someone who's just "hanging out"...

Crappy expression

2010-02-05T17:15:00.001-05:00

Looking at Alexander from the shoulders up, he appears to be having a very satifying poo.

Auto-erotica

2010-02-05T17:12:00.001-05:00

Damn, this is a hot car.

I wonder if it's a top or a bottom...

Here's hoping for bottom!

Ripe, not spoiled

2010-02-04T08:27:00.004-05:00

Maybe it's the badboy cropped beard, maybe it's the longish hair, maybe it's the implication of a threesome, or maybe it's the messy kitchen, but this guy totally makes my socks go up and down.

Alright, it's not the messy kitchen...

And so help me, RipeJock better not be seen on Guys I Blocked on Grindr...!

2010 Outlook Awards: I'm nominated!

2010-02-04T08:14:00.003-05:00

No, it's not an award for the website... :(

Your friendly neighborhood Spike -- and humble host here at Fun With Grindr -- has been nominated for a 2010 Outlook Award for Favorite Male Stripper!

But now it's up to you guys to help me win! The competition is really tough, so I'll need all the help I can get -- hence, the blatant Fun With Grindr solicitation. :)

Go to OutlookColumbus to select the winners from those nominated. Most of you won't know what to choose for most of the survey (and they make you select an answer for all of the categories), but as long as you select Spike Warden for Favorite Stripper, I'll be forever in your debt!

Thanks to all of those that choose to help me out!

And remember: It's not just a vote for me, it's a vote for all skinny guys with average-sized penises...

There's nothing wrong with Ohio...

2010-02-04T07:59:00.002-05:00

It's cold and miserable here in the Midwest, so I thought I'd post a cute, happy guy on a warm, sunny beach.

Okay, somehow it's not really helping.

Reality hookup

2010-02-04T07:49:00.003-05:00

This is one of those guys that shows up to your door and you find out he's ten years older, 70 pounds heavier and hasn't taken a picture of himself shirtless since he was a football player in high school.

Not...uh...that that sort of thing has ever...um...happened to me...

...yeah...

Mirror, mirror, on crack...

2010-02-04T07:44:00.002-05:00

That's the gayest mirror I have ever seen.

I can't even comment on Josh, his package, or his lack of undergarment fashion sense -- I just can't get past that damn mirror...

I didn't mean to turn you on

2010-02-02T12:04:00.002-05:00

Um...what? Are you sure you're not here for hookups? Because your attire kinda says differently.

Of course, wearing nothing but a towel could also mean you're looking for someone to do your laundry.

Yeah...I bet that's it...

Experiencing Rembrandt

2010-02-02T12:02:00.003-05:00

Remember that episode when Ross whitened his teeth just before going out on a hot date?

um...yeah...

Stay away from any blacklight, Jackson.

Wanna flip...burgers?

2010-02-02T11:59:00.002-05:00

Well, it's good to know that Kevin has a plan once he hits 30, abs go to pot, and his modeling career is over.

caliente y atractivo

2010-02-02T11:53:00.002-05:00

Is it germane to lust after this guy...?

Cum to the beach

2010-02-02T11:51:00.001-05:00

Hey, that better be sand on that finger...

Maddeningly Hot Monday

2010-02-01T14:21:00.002-05:00

I had to start the week with this OMG hottie. Except 'hottie' doesn't do him justice.

I'll do him justice, though...

My Pretty Tony

2010-02-01T14:18:00.002-05:00

The hot-as-heck Tony here is trying to look all tough.

um...

y'know, it's kinda working...

Perfection sent to it's bloody death

2010-02-01T14:14:00.002-05:00

Dammit, Jake, you'd be perfect if you weren't sporting a freakin' fauxhawk.

...sigh... Will the cute ones never learn...?

Oh, just 'dead' is fine...

2010-02-01T14:11:00.002-05:00

Wow. This dude's hot as hell. I totally gotta chat with him and hook up. I bet his dick is huge, what with all the postmortem swelling and all...

(sorry. ew.)

No mo' faux!

2010-02-01T14:02:00.002-05:00

In utter retaliation for all the fauxhawks that run rampant in city streets, like a rabid dog that doesn't realize it's already long dead, I give you Drew. Who actually has a real mohawk.

Congrats to our winner!

2010-02-01T13:57:00.003-05:00

Congratulations Bryan M. of Salem, Wisconsin!

Bryan won a 2(x)ist gift pack worth over $50! Have fun in and out of those undies, Bryan.

Oh, and it just so happens that our happy winner writes about underwear (ironically enough)! Go to UndieFan to check out Bryan. Um...his writing, I mean. Not the...y'know...other thing... (though I know you want to) ;)

Cincinasty

2010-01-30T20:08:00.001-05:00

Nasty is right. Because that's the only way I can think right now...

Crack me up

2010-01-30T20:06:00.001-05:00

Excuse me, sir, but your ass is showing.

You keep dragon me back in!

2010-01-30T20:04:00.002-05:00

I love tats. And this one's killer. I wanna have sex with it.

Mischief is my middle name

2010-01-30T20:02:00.001-05:00

I have a feeling this sly little cutie's got something up his...uh, sleeve.

Pretty homely

2010-01-29T09:12:00.001-05:00

Damn, Mike's ugly.

I wish I was as ugly.

Cub Pub

2010-01-29T09:08:00.002-05:00

I so want to have sit down and have a beer with this guy.

I guess that would be a beach bear beer.

Treasure Chest

2010-01-29T09:07:00.000-05:00

Day-um.

Poolside ballet

2010-01-29T09:02:00.004-05:00

Steve is practicing on the sidelines as he waits for the rest of his synchronized swimming team.

It's not the size of your stick...

2010-01-29T08:56:00.003-05:00

If you get with Dm, make sure he scores. If he doesn't, the gloves will be thrown down and fists will start flailing. Maybe that's what he means when he says "hit me up."

Start foreplay and a hockey game breaks out...

Pittsburgh in heat

2010-01-28T17:55:00.004-05:00

Not to sound too much like an ad, but the club HEAT in Pittsburgh kinda looks kickass...

And if Big Al's there, it's all the more reason for a road trip!

http://heatpgh.com

Damn Andorians

2010-01-28T17:52:00.001-05:00

Surely I'm not the only person who can't help but think this:

Florence Henderson would be so happy

2010-01-28T17:50:00.001-05:00

Matt is extremely proud of his new dentures.

An FWG Exclusive!!!

2010-01-28T17:42:00.003-05:00

Okay, as we all know, for some bizarre reason that perhaps only Oprah and her spiritualist can truly understand, women occasionally appear on Grindr.

Well, step aside Miss Winfrey, Fun With Grindr has an exclusive tell-all chat with Leah, whom I endearingly like to call Miss Booty-tang:

Jack Stare-o

2010-01-28T17:40:00.002-05:00

I don't know what exactly Jack is looking at, but I have a feeling it's completely inappropriate.

She might have fooled me, but she didn't fool my mother

2010-01-27T23:42:00.004-05:00

"M-mother...uh...what's the phrase? She isn't quite herself today."

Don't shoot your penis!

2010-01-27T23:25:00.006-05:00

This is from the incoming feeds to Fun With Grindr. Yeah. Someone actually did a search for that.

Perhaps even more odd is that Fun With Grindr comes up first on the search results when you Google it. Hey, maybe it's a selling point to get an ad placement from Nikon...

Jeez, I hate when I do that!

2010-01-27T23:16:00.003-05:00

BF caught himself unawares when he called out his name, turned, and was surprised by himself taking a photograph of himself.

(He was really pissed, too, but when he tried to get himself to erase the photo, he wouldn't let himself have the iPhone, and instead posted the pic on his Grindr profile in retaliation to himself...)

Fake me, I'm yours

2010-01-27T23:15:00.002-05:00

Why do I not believe this is real...?

Maybe jealousy is clouding my judgement.

They look like more than "just friends"...

2010-01-27T23:13:00.001-05:00

You know me -- I love posting Grindr profiles of happy gay couples.

Mistaken identity

2010-01-27T23:09:00.002-05:00

Yo, nigga g -- you're...um...white.

Weather or not

2010-01-27T23:06:00.001-05:00

Today's forecast:

Cloudy with a chance of nookie.

Oh, wait...this is Grindr, not Manhunt. Let's just make that "cloudy"...

Grindr Hotness

2010-01-26T11:31:00.001-05:00

Whoa. Quite possibly the cutest guy I've seen on Grindr.

Just don't speak, JB, because you're really not making any sense. Just sit there and be pretty.

Saint Nick

2010-01-26T11:28:00.004-05:00

I suddenly can't think of a single intelligent thing to say...

How 'bout I just stare for a bit?

Big Dick

2010-01-26T11:26:00.000-05:00

Y'know, sometimes the truth hurts...

Compose yourself

2010-01-26T11:19:00.003-05:00

This is a beautifully shot photo that has a well thought-out composition and speaks to the viewer through its color palette and simplicity in lighting.

Okay, not really. He's just freakin' hot.

You know what they say about horizontal stripes

2010-01-26T11:10:00.001-05:00

Um, yeah... I don't think we'll have a problem picking you out of a crowd, Waldo.

And so it toes...

2010-01-26T11:03:00.002-05:00

Okay, the fact that you have a Grindr profile pic of your stocking feet is odd enough, add to that that they're dirty gross socks makes you all the less appealing, Clifton.

And don't even get me started about that ankle bracelet...

Chillin'

2010-01-26T10:56:00.002-05:00

Please tell me your joking, Hotboy, because either you're an arrogant bastard or a damn funny guy.

Though for a hotboy, you look kinda chilly.

Mirror mirror

2010-01-26T10:49:00.004-05:00

Is Justin taking a Grindr pic, or just checking out is hair in the mirror...?

Mr. Plight

2010-01-25T11:27:00.002-05:00

Damn. Mr. Right was online 30 minutes ago. You totally missed him.

Cock Blocker

2010-01-25T11:22:00.004-05:00

Another chat I had yesterday.

And my last statement was true, which made it all the more hilariously weird.

Would you like a mic, Ms. Ross?

2010-01-25T11:18:00.002-05:00

I have a feeling Kidd is going to start belting out "Ease On Down the Road" and skip into a field of disco poppies...

Hey, this is a Grindr pic -- be serious!

2010-01-25T11:14:00.002-05:00

Though he's admittedly redundant in his double salutations, he's just so damn happy it makes him freaking adorable.

Don't be short with me...!

2010-01-24T21:43:00.002-05:00

Actually, P, you don't actually get to choose to be a midget. It, y'know, kind of gets chosen for you. It's kinda like a midget saying, "Hey, if I wanted to not stare at penises, I'd be your height."

And, really, staring at Navals isn't really so bad.

Oh, wait, you said "navels"...

Leno, step aside

2010-01-24T21:40:00.002-05:00

Hey! Conan O'Brien found a job being a hot Grindr model!

I knew he wasn't going to be out of a job for long.

Hash-slinging Slasher

2010-01-24T21:36:00.003-05:00

Okay, either Dan looks like a soon-to-be-victim in a slasher flick, or the killer himself.

Either way, it ends up being kinda pointless to hook up with him...

Blunttttt

2010-01-24T21:33:00.001-05:00

Fuck you.

You hopeless romantic you.

Miss Guided

2010-01-24T21:31:00.001-05:00

Hey, Yonatan, are you aware that it's called "Grindr" and not "Grind Her"?

Just, y'know, wanted to clarify.

Tasty

2010-01-23T15:17:00.001-05:00

Just a taste? Can't I have the whole meal?

Pretty please?

GaGa Ladyfinger

2010-01-23T15:16:00.002-05:00

And where exactly do you intend to put that finger...?

He's after me licky charm!

2010-01-23T15:13:00.002-05:00

With a tongue like that, does he even need a dick to satisfy someone...?

Watching you

2010-01-23T15:10:00.002-05:00

"Those eyes! Those horrible red eyes!!"

Oh, wait. Those aren't eyes...

"Are you a man? Doesn't hurt to ask..."

2010-01-23T15:01:00.003-05:00

Look out, Sasquatch! There's a fembot behind you!

Dammit, where's Steve and Jaime when you really need them?!?

I touch myself

2010-01-22T08:50:00.001-05:00

Pull them down a liiiittle lower...

No poking!

2010-01-22T08:47:00.003-05:00

Aaron here is adorable. That's all. Trying to find something to poke fun at, but to no avail. ...sigh...

We gotta go

2010-01-22T08:43:00.002-05:00

Creepy?? Grindr isn't creepy!

Well, okay, it kinda is. But thanks to you, Louie, it's fun and sexy too.

Now boarding

2010-01-22T08:41:00.001-05:00

Mikael's taking the red eye to Creepyville.

Yeesh.

Well, blow me down!

2010-01-22T07:54:00.002-05:00

Sheesh. Could a guy look or sound any more perfect?!

Surely he has a flaw somewhere.

Maybe he's French...

But I do agree with him on "No face = No chat". I've found that it's really difficult to carry on a conversation with a person who doesn't have one. I made the faux pas of taking a faceless guy out to dinner once. Cheap date, since he couldn't eat...

Silence of the Lame

2010-01-21T09:49:00.005-05:00

Hey, Sean, hookups aren't lame! Well, okay, that one time with the dude with the one leg. I guess technically that was a lame hookup. But damn -- the things we did with that cane... Wow.

But you're right about dates being fun. It's the figs you sometimes have to worry about.

Dustin and cleanin'

2010-01-21T09:45:00.002-05:00

So are you trying to attract a cowboy, a rapper, an NRA member, or the unlikely person that would actually find those sunglasses attractive?

You're sending mixed messages here, Dustin, and we're getting confused.

He's no Kelly

2010-01-21T09:41:00.002-05:00

Jake here doesn't mince words. He just puts it all out there.

Someone put something up his butt, because I suddenly like Jake and I want to be sure he's happy.

Eyes! Those...eyes!!

2010-01-21T09:39:00.001-05:00

hehe...

I'm going to eat your children.

hehe...hehehe...

Impress me

2010-01-21T09:37:00.000-05:00

You first.

Ben & Dave: Episode #29 - "Sherlock Homos"

2010-01-20T10:33:00.004-05:00

The latest episode of my favorite podcast -- Ben & Dave's Six Pack -- is ready to download or listen to online!

Amongst the typical B&D hijinks, they interview Mikey, the guy behind A Gay Hockey Kid's Life, about being a closeted high school athlete and what it's like to blog about it. Also on the docket: Queerty editor David Hauslaib on Prop 8, Uganda, and Davey Wavey.

Download it now!

Ben & Dave's Six Pack @ iTunes

Silver Fox

2010-01-20T10:28:00.001-05:00

More proof that you don't have to be 19 to be hot as hell.

Where a kid can be a kid

2010-01-20T10:21:00.003-05:00

When he went out for his birthday, he was disappointed that there was no Champaign Room at the Chuck E. Cheese.

Though rumor has it Mr. Munch gave him a lap dance.

[thanks to JB for sending this in!]